Tell Yourself Beforehand

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=110 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="040f0f21egerdp.jpg"> <div> <B><IMG SRC="041203c0.jpg" border=0 width="32" height="60" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B><FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#66334C" FACE="Arial" ><B>The Magic of Reading</B></FONT><B>      |     </B><A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Magic of Reading"><U><B>home</B></U></A></div> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" width=210 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="03ff2f02egerdp.jpg"> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="14" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" WIDTH="14">    <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="14" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" WIDTH="14">  <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="14" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" WIDTH="14">    <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="14" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" WIDTH="14"></div> <div> <IMG SRC="32fadd00.gif" border=0 width="173" height="208" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> </td> <td valign="top" height=370 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="042f0f03.jpg"> <div> <I>Tell Yourself Beforehand</I></div> <div> <B>Is there a recurring difficulty you have with another member of your family, or with a co-worker, or someone else with whom you come in contact?   As a young married couple Rich Davis and his wife, Ginger, seemed to cultivate the habit of arguing and fighting every time they made a long distance trip by car.  It got so they knew they would soon be fighting when they pulled out of the driveway.  Often they were fighting even before they got into the car!</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>You have the type of problem I am referring to if you can say, “Every time so-and-so happens, so-and-so happens!”  “Every time I start bragging about how well I'm doing in history, Mom mentions how poorly I am in math.”  “Every time I start talking about a trip to Europe, He starts talking about buying a new boat.”  “Every time I mention that the grass need cutting, he goes crazy!”  “Every time I put my book down and am preparing for a great night's sleep, my wife starts talking about problems to be handled the next day.” </B></div> <div> <B> </B></div> <div> <B>Dr. Davis explains a simple, fail-safe method for putting an end to such destructive patterns of thinking and acting!  His method has worked every time for over thirty years to make long-distance travel time less stressful and more fun.  </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Tell Yourself Beforehand</B><FONT SIZE="6" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <IMG SRC="3bb2f570.jpg" border=0 width="303" height="343" ALIGN="RIGHT" HSPACE="13" VSPACE="0"><FONT SIZE="6" COLOR="#0000BF" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>This is truly a magical technique, one of the first I learned. It worked for my wife and me in a wonderful way once a long time ago, and I still use it occasionally with great effect.  </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Years ago as a young married couple, my wife and I had a bad habit. Every time we traveled long distances by car we got into terrible arguments. I can recall certain vacation destinations by the fights my wife and I had thirty years ago. Not good!  Then one time before a trip I said to my wife, "Let's not fight this time." She agreed, and, guess what, we didn't!  In fact, we never had another major quarrel while traveling. We learned that if we thought about it beforehand, and told ourselves what we wanted to do, or not do, well, that pretty much solved the problem.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>I have noticed that when parents or teachers take the time to prepare children for a special event by explaining the significance of it and advising them how to behave beforehand, they almost always act accordingly. What a wonderful technique!  This is exactly the same process my wife and I used to destroy the bad habit we had of arguing while traveling. We simply took a moment to tell ourselves beforehand how to act.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>The Process:</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>1.  Identify a situation where you would like to behave differently from how you have in the past.  You know your areas of challenge.  What would you like to change?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>2.  Determine how you used to act. See yourself doing things the old, incorrect way.  See the results your wrong behavior brought you.  Is this to be desired? Wouldn't it be easier and more fun not to choose this course of action?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>3.  Determine how you intend to act in the future. See yourself doing things right.   Imagine the temptation to fight and then not doing it. Isn't this to be desired? Wouldn't it be easier and more fun to choose this way?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>4.  Decide to respond in the new way the next time the situation occurs.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>5.  Follow through. When the situation arises, act the way you have programmed yourself to act.  If you go to the trouble of intending to respond in a certain way and then don't do it, you might as well label yourself a big baby. You have not learned the simplest and most basic lesson of life: We can choose our thoughts, we can choose our actions, and doing the right thing always brings more pleasure and success than doing the wrong thing.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Every time you use this technique successfully you will increase your ability to use it for this and other applications.  Make this one of your secrets to solving problems.  Expect it to work like magic every time, and it will.   Why not make this technique valuable to you?  Put it to work.  See how many ways you can successfully use it.  Dr. Davis would like to know if it works for you as it has for him. </B></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>End</B></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id127.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Ben Franklin University"><U><B>Ben Franklin University</B></U></A></div> </td> </tr></table></body>